Permission to Feel, Power to Become

Many faithful members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints can point to a moment of severe struggle in their life, defined not only by its circumstances but also by the emotions surrounding the experience. A young missionary might drown out feelings of inadequacy and abandonment by telling himself he just needs to work harder. A young single adult hides a terrible fear that everything they had previously believed might not be true. Perhaps a young mother, doing her best to appear composed, holds back tears in a sacrament meeting as her children cry.

Certainly, one component of mortal life is to experience trials. President Eyring in General Conference admonished: “When you meet someone, treat them as if they were in serious trouble, and you will be right more than half the time.”¹ But while trials are inevitable, the “correct” response to the emotions that accompany them is far less decided. Many Latter-day Saints wrestle quietly with the belief that faithful discipleship requires emotional restraint, stoicism, or relentless positivity.²

Is this the case? Surely our trials are to be borne with “patience and long-suffering” (Alma 7:23), but what of their accompanying emotions? Careful reading of divine scripture and modern revelation makes it abundantly clear that ancient and modern members and prophets of Christ’s Church were not free from emotional struggle or intensity. Doctrine affirms that emotional experience is essential to spiritual growth, and contemporary research on emotional intelligence shows that healthy emotional engagement is necessary for human flourishing. Taken together, these two frameworks reveal that emotion is not a mortal weakness but a divine gift, given by God to guide, refine, and transform us. Recognizing and studying the sacred role of emotion—from both spiritual and psychological perspectives—can empower disciples individually and collectively to engage more deeply with agency, growth, and covenant living.

A Brief Defense of the Necessity of Emotion

In order to prove that there is a need to accept, control, and embrace our emotions, there must first be confidence that emotions are an essential component of our eternal progression. Thus, the argument that emotion is necessary is set forward here.

God loves all His children (see 1 Nephi 11:17; John 3:16–17). We know from both ancient and modern-day scripture that His goal is to bring to pass our “immortality and eternal life” (Moses 1:39). Modern day revelation further clarifies that included in this process is becoming Heavenly Parents in literally the same way that our Heavenly Mother and Father are. This includes receiving everything They have (Doctrine and Covenants 84:38).

We know that God is perfect (Matthew 5:48). He is omniscient, omnipresent, and omnipotent (2 Nephi 9:20; Alma 26:35). He knows perfectly how to bless us (Matthew 6:8), help us learn (2 Nephi 28:30), and help us attain His ultimate goal for us, which is everything He has (Moses 1:39).

Thus, if God knows all things, loves us perfectly, wants us to have everything He has, and knows how to bring us to that goal, then there cannot be accidents, coincidences, or mistakes in His orchestrations (2 Nephi 2:24), including what He creates. We are one of His creations and are created with emotions, which is plainly self-evident.

Therefore, it holds that emotion is a necessary component of our becoming like our Heavenly Father. It is not an accident or mistake that we have them.

A Brief(er) Aside to the Defense of the Necessity of Emotion

It is important to recognize the realities and limitations of this simple argument. No one understands fully the doings of God, and cannot in this life (Mosiah 4:9). While this is an argument for the necessity of emotion, this is not an argument nor an explanation that emotion will hold the same weight and reality that it does now within the eternities. Scripture does not offer a systematic psychology of God, but it does depict God as deeply responsive. The argument presented in this paper is a lesser argument which provides only proof of the necessity of emotion in our progression to become like God. Such an argument, though some (including the author) suspect it to be true, will not be presented in this paper, nor is its additional strength necessary for the conclusions found here.

Additional Scriptural Evidence for Emotion

The above logical argument depicting the necessity of emotion, while important and useful for many, does not fully encapsulate the reality of emotion as it stands within scripture. There is great value in examples depicting both God and Jesus Christ’s emotional responses, as well as moments where prophets utilized emotion in order to advance their own personal exaltation and the exaltation of others. Below are a few examples, each depicting the emotion and the specific response and development that emotion elicited.

Prophets and Their Emotion

In Alma 29, we see Alma display great desire and discontent with his allotment in life, depicted by his wishing to be an angel (Alma 29:1). He then interprets this emotion, claiming he “sins in his wish” (Alma 29:3) and uses truth from the stories of his fathers and his own personal experiences to reflect on the goodness of God (Alma 29:9–13). He ends the chapter by reflecting on the subsequent joy he experiences in seeing what God has brought to his brethren, strengthening his faith in God (Alma 29:14–17).

In 2 Nephi 4, we witness a distressed Nephi, whose “heart sorroweth” and whose “soul grieveth” in part due to the death of his father and the wickedness of his brethren (2 Nephi 4:17). Nephi tends to these emotions, using the gospel of Jesus Christ to encourage himself to “no longer droop in sin” (2 Nephi 4:28). He desires to say, “Rejoice, O my heart,” (2 Nephi 4:28) and asks God for help. We do not see within scripture a direct emotional resolution to Nephi’s pleading, but we do see him learning or remembering how fervently God is committed to his personal welfare, and how he can use that knowledge to deal appropriately with his own emotions.

Alma the Younger, in his attempts to relieve the deep emotional anguish caused by his sins, used his agency to latch on to the joy of the Atonement of Jesus Christ while he is swept up in a vision. The resulting lightening of his burdens is “as exceeding as was [his] pain” (Alma 36:20).

Other examples of emotion are abundant in scripture. Jeramiah laments the people of Israel but remembers the Lord and the goodness He has promised to His people (Lamentations 3). Mormon and Moroni struggle with the wickedness of the Nephites, and consider the goodness of God (Moroni 7:22; Moroni 10:3). Enos prays earnestly and with emotion on behalf of both the Nephites and the Lamanites, and is in turn comforted by the Lord (Enos 1:17). In none of these cases is the emotion stifled; rather, it is harnessed in order to bring about change and remembrance of Jesus Christ.

The Teachings of Christ and the Prophets on Emotion

There are further teachings on emotion that come directly from the words of prophets as opposed to their actions. Lehi teaches that “men are, that they might have joy” (2 Nephi 2:25). Alma teaches the people in Gideon that the Atonement of Jesus Christ will succor their “pains and afflictions” (Alma 7:11). His father Alma taught the people of King Noah that they must “mourn with those that mourn” (Mosiah 18:9), highlighting the need for compassion and empathy for those of God’s church. Mormon depicts charity in emotive terminology (Moroni 7:44–47). Joseph Smith is told by God that some emotions and hardships are meant to be borne for a time (Doctrine and Covenants 121:7–8; 122:5–9). In these instances, we see again that emotion is in no way to be sequestered, and is in fact necessary for our development, both in our relationship to God and our relationships among each other as His disciples.

God and His Relational Responsiveness

The most profound examples of the necessity of human emotion come from how God interacts with His children, be it with Him directly or via His Son, Jesus Christ. It is worth emphasizing again that while we cannot say that God feels these emotions in a like manner that we do, He can and does respond and speak to His children in an emotionally resonant and meaningful way.

Consider the depiction by Zenos of God as the “Lord of the vineyard” in Jacob 5, where we see Him “grieve” for His children (Jacob 5:7, 11, 13, 32, 46, 47, 51, 66). Consider the resurrected Savior during His ministry in the Americas, “groan[ing] within himself” (3 Nephi 17:14) and weeping for the Nephites (3 Nephi 17:21–22). Picture God weeping with Enoch over the plight and destiny of mankind as Enoch sees it in a vision for the first time (Moses 7:28–29). Christ wept with Mary upon her delivery of the message that her brother Lazarus had passed (John 11:32–35), and exhibited strong emotion when He rebuked the money changers within the walls of the temple (John 2:17).

Like all of the things that God does, emotion-filled moments are given appropriate space, time, and respect. As a woman comes to Jesus’s feet and pours spikenard over them in an act clearly driven in part by deep emotion, He counts it as a righteous act done unto Him, and blesses her (Mark 14:3–9).

There is no scriptural passage that condemns the experience of emotion itself; rather, scripture consistently condemns only the misuse or unrighteous expression of emotion. Consider Christ and the money changers as opposed to Cain’s hatred and envy for his brother: Christ’s righteous anger taught an important lesson to disciples and nonbelievers, and furthered the work of His Atonement, while Cain’s murder of his brother broke God’s commands, destroyed innocent life, and distanced him from God (Genesis 4:1–15). Similarly, compare Christ’s anguish on the cross (see, for example, Matthew 27:46) to the anguish the Nephites felt at the end of the Book of Mormon (see Mormon 2–3); while Christ’s anguish and sorrow was felt on behalf of and for the redemption of mankind, the unrighteous and self-centered Nephites who were in anguish for their lost kindred cursed God, continued to harden their hearts, and turned to greater anger (Mormon 2:14).

Modern Emotional Theory and Scriptural Correlatives

After examining scriptural patterns and lessons, a logical next step is to see how the messages seen in spiritual sources correlate to secular learning. That is, how does this idea of exhibiting and expressing righteous emotion correlate with modern ideas of regulating emotions? A study of the landscape of research done on the topic of emotional intelligence finds striking and encouraging similarities. Like scripture suggests, emotional understanding, regulation, and healthy demonstration are essential facets of holistic and positive human growth and development. Furthermore, research affirms that this is true both for individual, relational, and social growth. This can be seen through multiple disciplines and frameworks of emotions research.

Emotional intelligence is a framework proposed for understanding and interpreting emotion. As defined by Salovey and Mayer, it is “the ability to monitor one’s own and others’ feelings and emotions, to discriminate among them and to use this information to guide one’s thinking and actions.”³ Research has continually highlighted that those who are careful and consistent in this monitoring and guiding of their emotions—that is, those who intelligently recognize and regulate their emotions—are objectively and subjectively healthier, have more fulfilling relationships, and are more satisfied generally.⁴

Another important discipline, emotional regulation, is defined as “the ability of an individual to modulate an emotion or set of emotions.”⁵ Emotional regulation can be further subdivided into two broad categories: cognitive reappraisal, and expressive suppression. Cognitive reappraisal is defined as “a strategy for regulating emotions in which individuals reinterpret the meaning of stimuli to modify their emotional response.”⁶ By contrast, expressive suppression is “the conscious inhibition of emotional expressive behavior while emotionally aroused.”⁷ In the context of the emotion cycle, cognitive reappraisal occurs early, oftentimes preceding an emotional event, while suppression necessarily occurs after the event or while it is in progress. Similarly to emotional intelligence, in the framework of emotional regulation, cognitive reappraisal is found to predict better long-term psychological functioning⁸ and expressive suppression predicts worse interpersonal functioning and more stress.⁹

The connections here with scripture are striking and clarifying. The example of Nephi’s Psalm (2 Nephi 4) clearly demonstrates cognitive reappraisal, in which he uses the emotionally taxing reality of his sins and difficulties to admire and appreciate the gift of God’s grace. Alma does something similar in reframing his wish to be an angel (Alma 29) to appreciate how merciful God is to the righteous. Christ’s outpourings of love to the Nephites after seeing them silently pleading for him to stay (3 Nephi 17:5) reiterates that He understands the importance of recognizing emotion and can use it—as faithful disciples should also do—to create stronger, more loving, and sacred relationships. Perhaps one of the most complete examples in scripture of emotional regulation in action comes from Enos, who acknowledges his emotions as they are drawn out from memories of the words of his father (Enos 1:3), and turns them into an opportunity to pray and receive clarification. He finds support from God in his own trials, and is able to extend his positive emotion into concern and wellbeing for both friends and enemies (Enos 1:9, 12). In each instance, emotion is not suppressed or ignored. Instead, it is recognized, reinterpreted, and used to foster connection, faith, and righteous action.

Analysis, a Personal Note, and an Invitation

The brief glance provided here of scripture reveals the importance of emotion in the lives of God’s children. But a deeper look—one informed by both sacred texts and emotional theory—shows that feeling is not only a companion to faith, but a core part of our eternal progression. Emotion can shape our choices, refine our discipleship, and enable us to build Zion not just through obedience, but through empathy and compassion.

Still, this paper only begins to approach the actual depths of this topic. At this point, the author feels compelled to remove themselves from the academic voice and speak personally. Developing emotional intelligence—or to put it in more personal terms, learning that I have a right, even an obligation to feel as a child of God—has not been an abstract exercise for me; rather, it has been a painful and confusing process, derived from desire to do what is right and love God. In family settings, friendships, and church communities, I have seen many people silently suffer—not just from emotional burdens, but from the belief that those emotions are somehow evidence of spiritual failure.

This argument of the necessity of emotion as a facet of eternal progression is a deeply enabling start, but incomplete in its effort. Opportunities to expand this philosophy are numerous, directly useful to the care of others, and personally healing. I propose the following further items for research:

1. Scriptural case studies: A more detailed examination of emotionally intense scriptural moments—such as Nephi’s Psalm (2 Nephi 4), Joseph Smith’s lamentations in Liberty Jail (D&C 121–123), or Christ’s mourning in 3 Nephi 17—in the context of emotional intelligence can provide specific and personal examples as to how one can handle specific feeling like betrayal, sorrow, and anguish.
2. Applied emotional theory in Church settings: Peer-reviewed research could investigate how emotional intelligence principles, when taught and modeled by Church leaders and members, impact spiritual resilience, empathy, and community belonging in Latter-day Saint congregations.
3. Philosophical development: Further philosophical examination—in my personal opinion—could lead to a much stronger theological argument that emotion is not only necessary for emotional progression, but an actual component of God’s nature. My basis for this argument is simple: I believe God was sad to an extent I cannot comprehend when a third of His children left Him. I believe many can think of similar scriptural extrapolations through their own personal experience that, while individually true, are not sufficient to claim anything with universality. The implications of this argument are powerful—not only asserting that emotion is necessary, but that it is part of eternal life, turns emotion from simply a reality to an eternal trait that we are developing.
4. Further research on the connections of religious lifestyle and emotional regulation: Emerging research within the fields of emotional intelligence and emotional regulation are finding that positive correlations between religiosity and healthy emotional regulation exist.¹⁰ Broader suggestions are being made between the two, including the claim that “religiosity is linked...to a positive way of understanding emotions.”¹¹ Further investigation might lead to deeper insights into how these topics intertwine, and identify benefits of integrating emotion into religious worship and behavior.

I hope it is clear to all readers the potential that is inherent to this framing of emotion within a gospel context. Jesus Christ was “a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief” (Isaiah 53:3). He endured pains and afflictions impossible for the rest of us to comprehend, and with them, also must have felt the emotions that came with those pains and afflictions. The Church of Jesus Christ and the covenantal bonds which connect its members to each other and to Him is colored and defined not only by the actions that they perform, but also by the emotions that fuel those decisions. The ability to feel is a great and miraculous gift from God. The choice, opportunity, and responsibility to exercise emotion wisely is one of the great missions of our time on this earth. As we learn to not only accept our emotions but to wield them for good via scriptural examples and by academic recommendation, we will find greater love in our lives and the lives of others.

Abstract

This paper serves as an introduction into what the author considers to be a novel perspective and framework on emotion in gospel learning and growth. The claim is made that emotion is an essential component of eternal growth. A philosophical argument in favor of its necessity is outlined and followed by analysis of the processing and use of emotion as exhibited in scripture. A brief synthesis of emotion research is conducted, and similarities are drawn between both domains. The author proposes immediate means and future research through which these ideas can enable more complete individual and communal discipleship.

Notes

1. Henry B. Eyring, “Try, Try, Try,” Liahona, November 2018, churchofjesuschrist.org. ↩
2. See, for example, Samuel O. Peer and James S. McGraw, “Mixed-Method Study of Perfectionism and Religiosity among Mormons: Implications for Cultural Competence and Clinical Practice,” Issues in Religion and Psychotherapy 38, no. 1 (September 2017), scholarsarchive.byu.edu. ↩
3. Peter Salovey and John D. Mayer, “Emotional Intelligence,” Imagination, Cognition and Personality 9, no. 3 (March 1990): 189, doi.org/10.2190/DUGG-P24E-52WK-6CDG. ↩
4. Ainize Peña-Sarrionandia, Moïra Mikolajczak, and James J. Gross, “Integrating Emotion Regulation and Emotional Intelligence Traditions: A Meta-analysis (Updated),” Frontiers in Psychology 6 (February 2015), doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2015.00160. ↩
5. APA Dictionary of Psychology, s.v. “emotion regulation,” dictionary.apa.org. ↩
6. Ya-Xin Wang and Bin Yin, “A New Understanding of the Cognitive Reappraisal Technique: An Extension Based on the Schema Theory,” Frontiers in Behavioral Neuroscience 17 (April 2023), doi.org/10.3389/fnbeh.2023.1174585. ↩
7. James J. Gross and Robert W. Levenson, “Emotional Suppression: Physiology, Self-report, and Expressive Behavior,” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 64, no. 6 (1993), doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.64.6.970. ↩
8. James J. Gross and Oliver P. John, “Individual Differences in Two Emotion Regulation Processes: Implications for Affect, Relationships, and Well-being,” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 85, no. 2 (2003), doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.85.2.348. ↩
9. Debora Cutuli, “Cognitive Reappraisal and Expressive Suppression Strategies Role in the Emotion Regulation: An Overview on Their Modulatory Effects and Neural Correlates,” Frontiers in Systems Neuroscience 8 (2014), psycnet.apa.org; James J. Gross, “Emotion Regulation: Affective, Cognitive, and Social Consequences,” Psychophysiology 39, no. 3 (2002), doi.org/10.1017/S0048577201393198. ↩
10. Allon Vishkin et al., “Religiosity and Emotion Regulation,” Journal of Cross-Cultural Psychology 50, no. 9 (October 2019), doi.org/10.1177/0022022119880341; Tânia Brandão, “Religion and Emotion Regulation: A Systematic Review of Quantitative Studies,” Journal of Religion and Health 64 (June 2025), doi.org/10.1007/s10943-024-02216-z. ↩
11. Cecilia Collazos Ugarte, Giuseppe Crea, and Joseph Jeyaraj Swaminathan, “Unveiling the Inner World: Exploring Emotional Intelligence, Faith, and Time Perspective among Italian Nuns,” Religions 15, no. 7 (2024), doi.org/10.3390/rel15070796. ↩